Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
