If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
