So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize