Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
sex in a hospital.. check
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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