He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
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