whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
