Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
