I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize