Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
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