I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
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