rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Randomize
