it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
