What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
