I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
