is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I'd cum for enchiladas.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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