Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Randomize
