my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
