I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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