I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
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