He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize