my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
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