everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
