I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
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