So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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