I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
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