I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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