you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
