just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
