I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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