i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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