We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Randomize
