When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
