Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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