yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
