so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize
