he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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