Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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