I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
