The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
