Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
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