Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
