Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
