How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
two words...techno handjob
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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