i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
