Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Randomize