Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize