What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
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