theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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