Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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