What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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