Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
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