You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
