the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
