vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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