Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Found your dick twin last night
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
