what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
