she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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