I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Randomize
