The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
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