it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
